That…is the
question.
Wow, almost a
month with no posts! Mea culpa, mea culpa! The passing of time has been
alternating between molasses-in-January and whizzing past, and my husband's
demanding essay writing schedule has consumed every ability of mine to use our
computer. I could post via mobile, but ain't nobody got time for dat. (Which is
my way of saying the small phone screen hurts my eyes after a while).
So anyway, today
I have been musing on the phenomenon of tipping -you know, waiters and such-
and how the attitude towards it is among some of the striking differences
between living in one place or the other. Something you can encounter in a
peripatetic life is how drastically different each culture is with respect to
giving people free money. Funny, really, that in a capitalistic society such as
America we give people more free money (via tipping) than in the socialist
countries of Europe. Anthony Bourdain, on a recent episode of his show The
Layover, exclaimed: "no way, I'm a 20% tipper no matter where I go" while
reading an Italian guidebook out loud, in the section where tipping was
discussed. Yes, right, and I am sure the Europeans just love him, don't they?
No wonder he has so many cool friends everywhere to visit in his shows.
But it's not
that easy. We are not all Anthony Bourdain (praise God- what a terrible world
that would be), and we cannot all afford to tip 20% whenever and wherever,
unless it is the social norm and we are expected to do so. But is it the social
norm? Who, what, when, how much? That remains to be seen.
I was looking
forward to living in Europe, where [I thought] some, if not most, things would be
exceptionally clear and uncomplicated. Now that I have revealed my unrealistic
and excessive optimism to you, it is safe to say that I was WRONG, and as an
American abroad there are complications and subtle differences to find at every
societal turn. No surprises there, now that I think of it.
I did think that
living in an English-speaking country abroad would be easier than the
alternative, and it has been true. But one of the reasons I let a blissful sigh
trip delicately from my lips while contemplating life in England was because of
tipping. After spending August in Switzerland (where there actually is no
tipping ever), I sat at a table doing something-or-other, let out said blissful
sigh, and thought: "oh, how easy England will be." I was looking
forward to not needing to worry about tipping extra, to whom, and how much. It
is just one of those things that made life simple in Switzerland. I don't even know
why I care so much about this subject, but it really illustrates one of the key
differences in cultures, so it is worth dwelling on for us peripatetics.
In America, we
really like to give away money. What other reason can we give for the fact that
we tip everything that moves? If a hotel employee so much as looks at you, he
gets a tip. I will always remember my grandma Barb telling me that whenever she
went to NYC, she armed herself with an arsenal of $10's, $5's and $1's. Because
you just gotta be a good tipper. There's the cabbies, the doormen, the bellboy,
room service peeps, not to mention waiters, bartenders, and whether or not you
get any Spa services done - Lordy be, the list is endless!
In America, we
tip the people from whom we get takeout, too. Now this really doesn't make
sense to me. Unless there's delivery in the pouring rain involved, why should I
give extra money to someone who pushes a button at the register and assembles
some food products? Because he gave me extra napkins, duh! And didn't screw up
my takeout order! (Let's all face it, this is rare- the takeout order seems
doomed to be messed up in some way, always). So, OK, if you get your takeout
all in one piece, with all of the correct components, please do throw some cash
at those people, because they got it RIGHT.
And, granted, I
should not be complaining. I have been a Barista for years and enjoyed being on
the receiving end of America's over-tipping for just as many of them. As a
Barista in America, I got cash. On top of getting a completely fair wage (well
above the minimum), we would get $3-$4 extra per hour in tips alone. And
everyone loved (LOVED) the Christmas tipper, who would fling a casual Ulysses
or Benjamin ever-so-nonchalantly in the tip jar, because it's Christmas time,
and well, because COFFEE. Hello, we made amazing coffee. Not gonna lie. If
there is one thing I will miss in my future medical life, it is that, at the
end of the week, there isn't a fat wad of cash with a clip that has my name on
it, sitting preciously in a little box at the coffee shop, awaiting my arrival.
(Not to mention the free coffee).
An entirely
different angle to this discussion is that I truly wish waiters in America
would just get a decent wage and not have to rely on tips only. Getting $2 an
hour? Forget about tips, there is just something in that base pay that seems
inhumane. What if the restaurant is slow for the evening? Or if you get a bad
tipper, then there goes your money for breakfast the next day. Or if you get a
table of Europeans? Bahh- I can't even think about it. This is another topic
entirely, and it is definitely something that needs to change.
In Switzerland,
since it is completely untouchably awesome and still has its eyes set on
retaining the old-school European values that once made Europe unforgettable,
there actually is no tipping, as I mentioned before. Further, there is some
aspect of insult to it as well. They would think "Why are you giving me
this money, do you think I need your small change? Who do you think I am?
Poor?" They get paid enough and their currency is strong, so just do not
bother.
But I now turn
to the problem with the U.K.
In America, we
tip EVERYONE. In Switzerland (and France, too), you tip no one. The U.K. is a
really confusing blend of both camps, and I seriously do not even know what to
do.
A simple
google.co.uk search on tipping will reveal people saying OPPOSITE THINGS. Who
do you trust? I know it's a cold, hard world out there, but seriously I
couldn't find a col, hard number or percentage from anyone. Some say tip 10%,
some say not at all, some say leave a little something on the table, some say
really, don't tip, it's insulting. How am I to know who gets a fair wage and
who needs or does not need a tip? That doesn't even begin to cover salon and
spa services, which we always tip for in America. When I was looking on message
boards I discovered that in England you definitely tip for haircuts and at hair
salons, but no one had a percentage- just "5 pounds or so" (this
could be 10%, realistically, but it may also be 5%- who knows). However, you do
not tip for spa services like massage and waxing. What about the salons that
offer both hair and other beauty services? They aren't spas, per se, but they
don't simply do hair. It is discombobulating. And it feels so wrong for me to
enter any sort of salon and not leave a gratuity.
If there had to
be a scapegoat, I would blame it on the increasing American influence on
European culture. Especially for English speaking European countries like
England, there have been a lot of pieces of the puzzle here that are starting
to reflect "America". One of those things might be tipping.It's
natural, sure, and not necessarily a bad thing. But the consequence is that I
end up living in these confusing times. I would imagine that 15-20 years ago
there was no tipping here like in the rest of Europe. But Americans kept coming
and tipping, or something, and people were all like "heeyy- free
money!" (who wouldn't like that? Seriously that's why I don't understand
the people who get insulted by it) and by and by it is starting to be the norm
here. I don't know what the average waiter salary is in the UK though, perhaps
some people more familiar than I can remark on this. I also know that pub
culture in England has a different standard for tipping than American bars. In
fact, doing the same google search on tipping in pubs revealed a heated
argument on the discussion boards, which amused me to no end! I still don't
know what to do about that though. From what I read through tears of laughter
at how trivial people can be, I divined that you either a) tip the barman/woman
b) offer to buy him/her a drink c) don't do anything, and shrink away from the
bar sheepishly? Who knows. One lad online tried to divide pub tipping into categories
of "whether or not you sat at the bar and conversed with the barman vs.
sat a table and didn't talk to the barman".
Even as I write
this, I am looking at a gift voucher we received for the Trout Pub in Oxford.
They are supposed to have good food and a nice view of the river. On the back
of this voucher in bold lettering are the words:
"Please
don't forget to leave a gratuity"
Alright England,
you've thoroughly confused me. To avoid ruining someone's day, I may as well be
the American tipper and take a leaf out of Mr. Bourdain's book if I'm not sure.
Until next time!
